From Her Cookbooks, Red and White.
White milk bubbling with fragrant white rice —
The aroma of tej pata1, elach2 and ghee
Curls sweetly through the air —
The ladle of nolen gur3 trembles in my hand —
Like that first time in your mother’s kitchen.
Dark brown disappears in the sea of whiteness —
I try to imagine the dudhe-alta4 I had left on white
The day I crossed the threshold of your life —
The sudden heat against my hand makes me start;
I stir furiously to break the monotony of the white
For the first time in years, it is perfect!
Just the way you like it —
Many happy returns, dear heart5!
Eagerly filled twin bowls, eagerly awaiting twin spoons,
Heart thudding in the magical foretaste of your delight —
How is it?
Silence answers.
Not even the clink of metal against glass.
My fingers twitch against my phone, against the instinct to call,
Against the hope of seeing the defunct device on your side
Light up, light up my illusions —
Against the habitual path my eyes take every day,
Sweeping over my bare wrists (no red-white6,
Only a hollow circle of tarnished gold) —
And to the pale-garbed reflection against glass panes —
Bare forehead, no red7, never red again.
The darkness of the cracked, dead phone drowns me,
And all I can see in the falling dusk
Is one bowl brimming white8.
Notes:
1. Bengali for bay leaf;
2. Bengali for cardamom;
3. Bengali for date-palm jaggery;
4. Colour obtained from mixing the crimson alta dye and milk, used for a ritual of welcoming the bride at the groom’s house after marriage;
5. Bengali tradition of offering rice kheer or a sweet dish made with rice, milk, bay leaf, ghee, cardamom, nuts, raisins, sweetened with sugar or nolen gur, on someone’s birthday;
6. Red coral and white conch-shell bangles worn by Bengali married women, given up during widowhood;
7. Vermillion mark on the forehead worn by Bengali married women, also given up during widowhood;
8. Despite mixing the dark brown nolen gur, the colour of the kheer remains mostly white.
Eris: Strife Awakening
Capricious little feet pitter-patter through woodlands
Sweet and wild — long, inky locks fan out
Behind — as if the balmy Night1 itself were giving chase —
Cacophonous laughter bubbles forth, boldly ringing
Through the silence — like the harsh twang of
Phoebus’s2 lute she struck in Stepmother’s3 gardens;
Discordia, they whisper in consternation —
And whispers follow — like insidious hydras,
Poisonous manticores, myrmekes, menacing drakons —
She collects them all to build herself a home —
For home, she knows not — dark amid fairest siblings —
Kore’s 4 flowery bounties tedious; Parthenos5 and Huntress6
Equally rigid — Father’s7 thunderous council tiring—
Insipid, uninspiring for the bloody stirrings in her soul —
Home is where things fall apart — like Despoina’s8 tapestries
Pulled down with one thread snapped — the clash of steel
Music for her ears — but only her warrior brother’s9 legacy!
And so she runs towards the sounds of war —
To stir up bloodthirsty sands, to unravel hateful yarns of
Peace — that only comes after the reign of strife —
To call upon her beasts of mischief — knowing not —
Knowing not beneath her feet the roads lead—
To golden apples, clans destroyed, love rebounding in envy —
Lined with crimson ashes, welcoming the heart of Erebus10!
Notes:
1. The Greek goddess Nyx, mother to Eris;
2. Apollo, the Greek god of the sun, music, poetry and healing, son of Zeus and Leto;
3. Hera, Queen of Olympus, wife and sister to Zeus, and the goddess of marriage;
4. Childhood name of Persephone, the Greek goddess of spring, daughter to Zeus and Demeter;
5. Athena, the Virgin, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war, daughter to Zeus and Metis;
6. Artemis, the Greek goddess of the moon, hunting, wild animals, chastity and childbirth, twin sister to Apollo, daughter to Zeus and Leto;
7. Zeus, King of Heaven, the Greek god of sky and thunder, Hesiod mentions Eris as a child as being raised by him and Nyx in Works and Days;
8. The Greek goddess of fertility, daughter to Poseidon and Demeter;
9. Ares, the Greek god of war, presumed to be accompanied by Eris in battle;
10. Erebus, one of the first primordials in Greek mythology, family to Eris and forms her dwelling place.
Pritikana Karmakar (she/her), bookworm, nature-lover, occasional artist and singer, and a huge foodie, is a doctoral fellow of English at IIT Roorkee, India, specialising in medical humanities. Formerly a writer and editor in the K–12 education technology sector, she is currently a prose editor and writer at the Cream Scene Carnival magazine. Her works are published/forthcoming at Cream Scene Carnival, miniMag, Setu (English), and The Hooghly review. She hails from Burdwan, West Bengal, India. Connect with her on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter.
